Ask Karen
Growing up with a brother or sister with Down's syndrome Define Down's syndrome can be fun - but probably not all the time! All brothers and sisters feel like this about each other sometimes.
Down's Syndrome Scotland has several booklets for brothers and sisters which you can print off from this site.
If there's anything you want to know or are not sure about you can Ask Karen using our online form. Karen will email you back with her answer within five working days.
Below are some questions that other brothers and sisters have asked. Click on these to get Karen's answer.
- How can my teachers help me?
- My brother doesn't sleep very well during the night, and I get very tired. What can I do?
- My friends don't seem to understand about my sister and sometimes tease me. What do I do?
- I have a sister with Down's syndrome. What is the likelihood that if I have a baby someday, she will also have Down's syndrome?
- My 4 year old sister can get all angry and starts saying stop it, shes kikking me or go away. She slaps me and kicks me i don't know what to do?
How can my teachers help me?
Teachers can help by:
- Giving lessons which explain learning and other disabilities
- Helping you if you are being bullied
- Not asking about your home life when other people are listening
- Listening to you when you need to talk about your brother or sister
If something has happened at home which has made it difficult to get homework in on time, you could explain this to the teacher, They may give you more time to do your homework.
Why not tell your teacher about Down's Syndrome Scotland's website as this will also help them understand more about the support you and your family need.
My brother doesn't sleep very well during the night, and I get very tired. What can I do?
Many children and young people who have learning disabilities can have sleep difficulties, which can affect the WHOLE family.
- Talk to your parents about how you are feeling and how lack of sleep is affecting you.
- Often brothers or sisters find difficulty concentrating at school. Tell your teacher why you are feeling tired.
- Tell your parents about Sleep Scotland. This is a charity that was set up to support families who are being affected by sleep problems. Their number is: 0845 6031212.
- Sometimes you may feel angry with your brother. This is normal. It is good to talk to friends and family. You may find that they sometimes feel the same way too.
My friends don't seem to understand about my sister and sometimes tease me. What do I do?
People sometimes don't understand what having a learning disability Define Learning disability means. Often when you give them information it helps them to be more understanding.
- Talk to your parents and ask them to help you to explain what Down's syndrome is to your friends.
- Down's Syndrome Scotland lends out books. These might help you to talk to your friends about your sister.
- If your friends still tease you, tell them that this upsets you. If they still don't stop, tell another adult.
I have a sister with Down's syndrome. What is the likelihood that if I have a baby someday, she will also have Down's syndrome?
This is a very real concern for parents and the brothers and sisters of a child, young person or an adult with Down's syndrome.
There are 3 types of Down's syndrome:
- Trisomy 21
- Translocation
- Mosaic
Down's syndrome can only be diagnosed by looking at the chromosomes, either in pregnancy or when the baby is born. The likelihood of you having a baby with Down's syndrome will depend on what kind of Down's syndrome your sister has. You can find this out from your Mum and Dad.
In most cases you have similar chances of having a baby with Down's syndrome as the rest of the population.
All of this is very complicated and quite difficult for most people to understand, so when you feel ready, you can talk to your own doctor. Sometimes they can get someone to talk to you. This person is called a Geneticist. They will have a lot of knowledge about the type of Down's syndrome your sister has and will be able to tell you what your chances of you having a baby with Down's syndrome will be.
My 4 year old sister can get all angry and starts saying stop it, shes kikking me or go away. She slaps me and kicks me i don't know what to do?
Being an older sister isn't always easy. It's ok to be annoyed with your little sister and to give her into trouble. Just because she has Down's syndrome doesn't mean that it's ok to kick or hit you.
There are a few things that might help you cope with you little sister's behaviour.
- First of all it is important to tell your mum and dad that you are finding it difficult when your little sister is hitting and kicking you. Like every other child, your sister will have to learn that people are not going to be very happy when she behaves like this.
- Sometimes you may feel that you need to protect your little sister because she has Down's syndrome. You might think that she won't understand if you give her into trouble for treating you the way she does at times. Many brothers and sisters can feel this way. Children with Down's syndrome just need to be told in different ways. Can your mum find a story book that talks about how kicking and hitting can make people feel sad? Maybe you like drawing pictures? Get your mum or dad to help you make up a story about 'what makes sisters happy' and 'what makes sisters sad'. Maybe your little sister will want to help you make the story book?
- When your little sister does something that is really nice and makes you happy, make a big fuss and tell her how nice it was of her to do that. Sometimes getting told what you do really well makes people want to do it even more.
- Sometimes people get angry when they are asked to do something they don't want to do. Your little sister might not be able to talk very well yet and because of this she might show that she is angry by kicking and hitting. Can you think of reasons why she might feel angry?
Down's Syndrome Scotland has books that you can borrow from the library about having a brother or sister with a learning disability. Why don't you ask your mum to give the office a call and you can borrow one or two books for a month?
If you do make a storybook, maybe you could send me a copy. If you found it helpful, then maybe other children will do too.